But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
