at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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