is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
