my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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