her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
