At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
