babies were throwing up all over the place
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My breath smells like gin and sadness
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize