Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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