Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
my poor anus
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
