it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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