No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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