i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize