no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think i have two assholes
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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