Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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