Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
