I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize