I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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