I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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