I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
high people should be assigned attendants
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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