whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
