Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
