i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Every concussion has its silver lining
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
