and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
