I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
