you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
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I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
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He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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