dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
