you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize