i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
