Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
