Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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