I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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