the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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