hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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