The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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