Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
