His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
