Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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