If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
