So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
