I just made out with a guy for $7.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
