im gay
i know
yea but for you.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
