just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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