Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
