There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize