Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
