i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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