Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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