dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
