God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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