Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
