do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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