Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I FOUND THE LEGS
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
