i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
