is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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