But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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