you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
