I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
