she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
