i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
