Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize