Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
