I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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