omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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