I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
