My room smells like vodka and shame
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
