make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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